Bahiyyih

There should be no such thing as a due date when it comes to pregnancy. I am instituting the Arrival Period. Why you ask? Let me explain.

Even though I know that babies are rarely due on their due dates, and that due dates are often inaccurate, and that babies are ready to arrive anywhere between 37-42 weeks, there is still this underlying anticipation I feel as my due date approaches. The other problem is that everyone asks when my due date is, a natural question, but one that just reinforces this anticipation which I am trying to ignore.

My wise midwife advised that I could try expecting my baby to arrive on the last possible date of my Arrival Period, and that way I can enjoy life until then rather than waiting on pins and needles. So that’s what I’m doing (or trying very hard to do). I’ve been going out for long walks and getting out into the trees and by the water. Here are some photos of me at Pacific Spirit Park. This time in nature is also bringing me a feeling of calm and joy, and awakening creative ideas.

I have a taste of what it means to “do what you love” in life. There are a lot of books and self-help guides and schools of thought around the importance of doing what we love in life. There is the idea that if we follow our passion, our true calling, everything will work out. Money is often a concern in this equation, as a lot of “dream” jobs are not guaranteed money makers.

At my recent cd release party, I felt the elation and contentment of singing my songs and sharing them with others. Doing this, however, does not come easily or without significant work. Many hours and months and even years were put into the creation of the cd as well as the concert itself. To put in that much effort for something that does not mean much to you would just not happen. The only reason I put in so much effort, despite the lower financial output, is because I love doing it. It is not always easy, and not always exciting, but for the thrill of moments like I had during the concert, it is always worth it. It is not logical, it is intuitive. When you find something you love, you will do it no matter what is costs (or doesn’t pay) and despite challenges and struggles. The truth is, why would I work towards something and put a lot of effort into something I am not passionate about and do not believe in? I just won’t and don’t. So what I do love and put effort into, music, ends up being the most rewarding thing in my life BECAUSE I put that effort in. When we put so much effort into something we love, it is so unbelievably rewarding.

And now, as I embark on a new calling, that of parenthood and motherhood, I will try to remember this. For I know bringing a child into the world and raising it is a HUGE job, much bigger than releasing a cd. So I think perhaps it will also be that much more rewarding. This is what I tell myself when I feel afraid and have self-doubt about doing such an important job. It will be interesting to see what kind of music and other creative expressions come out of this amazing, challenging, and life-changing experience. Stay tuned!

There have been so many countdowns in my life lately. For a long time it was the unknown date of when my album would be finished. Then once it was finished and the cd release date was set, it was counting down to the big event and all the prep involved in putting on a live concert. After that, my husband and I were counting down until our moving day of June 1. And now I am counting down to the day that our child will be born.

I am now 33 weeks pregnant and as you know, due dates are not exact. She could come anytime now, but I’m guessing/hoping it will be mid to late August. I have four more weeks of work and then hopefully some time to do more baby and personal preparation.

I also bought myself a new guitar. It is a Martin OM-1E. It is electric/acoustic, spruce, light-weight, and has a beautiful rich sound. I will be performing with it for the first time tomorrow at my regular coffee shop gig. I have been counting down to get this new guitar for over a year now.

Everything comes in good time. I can see that now, as so many of my goals and dreams and wishes have come to me this year.

What a night! My cd release concert was an amazing experience for me. It was one of those experiences where I felt very present and really enjoyed each moment. As a performer it was the ideal type of show. Lots of time to set up and sound check, great sound system and sound person, great musicians, songs well prepared, room full of supportive family and friends. It just doesn’t get much better than that.

I feel so happy to have worked hard on this album for over 2 years and then to be able to share it in a magical evening and for people to take it home with them to enjoy and share with others. I am also so grateful to the many people who have helped me with this and my entire music career. Here are a few photos from the night taken by Tobin J.W. Smith.

Photo by Tobin J.W. Smith: www.photobinphotography.com

Photo by Tobin J.W. Smith: www.photobinphotography.com

Photo by Tobin J.W. Smith: www.photobinphotography.com

Photo by Tobin J.W. Smith: www.photobinphotography.com

Photo by Tobin J.W. Smith: www.photobinphotography.com

Photo by Tobin J.W. Smith: www.photobinphotography.com

Photo by Tobin J.W. Smith: www.photobinphotography.com

Photo by Tobin J.W. Smith: www.photobinphotography.com

I cannot believe that my album, which was started in December of 2008, is going to be released in a mere 2 days! These are songs that I have written over the past decade and are very dear to me. They mostly draw upon the sacred writings of the Baha’i Faith and reflect what I was going through in my life. The songs are about love, history, struggle, search, and all things spiritual.

There are a lot of preparations to be made for the show. I’ve been giving out invitations, putting together a set list, requesting volunteers, organizing rehearsals, etc, etc. Though I am overwhelmed at times, I am also feeling so blessed to be surrounded by the love and support of friends, fans and family.

I will be joined at the show by a number of talented musicians: Chris Murphy on vocals, Roya Ravanbakhsh on vocals and piano, Jason Cohen on guitar, Erin Higgins on viola, Hamin Honari on percussion and Amy Stephen on harp.

I hope you can make it out to this special event on April 24. The album will also be available online through various sources. More on that later.

My album is complete and I will be releasing it to the world on Saturday, April 24th, 2010 in Vancouver, BC. I hope you can make it!

I have been listening to Raphael Saadiq lately. I am really digging his album The Way I See It. His song Love That Girl is so catchy and wonderful:

embedded by Embedded Video

YouTube Direktclassid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" width="525" height="340" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0"> Love That Girl

He is playing a concert in March with India.Arie. I am already a huge India fan. I just love discovering new stuff. When I find an artist (and especially an album) that I like, I listen to it over and over again. I’m sort of like that with clothes too. When I find a pair of jeans or a t-shirt I like, I will wear it a lot for a while. It is the excitement of something new, and also the knowledge of knowing I will like what I am wearing (or in this case what I am listening to). I know what mood Raphael’s music will put me in, and I know what to expect. Still the more I listen, the more I like it. I rarely find this with an album. I often find a song I like or a singer I like, but to really enjoy an entire album (or most of one) does not happen too often for me.

Some other albums I truly love and have listened to a lot:

Sarah McLaughlin’s Fumbling Towards Ecstacy

Lauryn Hill’s The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill

Tracy Chapman’s self titled first album

Regina Spektor’s Begin To Hope

There are lots more but that’s my list for now. Now to decide whether or not to go and see the Raphael/India concert in March.

I had the pleasure of performing last Friday at the Vancouver Rowing Club as part of the Vancouver City Limits series. I played with my friend Jason Cohen. We had a great set of original songs. My parents and sister came, along with some friends from the area. There were other talented artists who played before and after us. The Club even threw in a free roast beef dinner for performers, which is more than I usually get for performing.

The one hiccup of the night for me will be no surprise to fellow musicians (and many audience members). That hiccup would be the excessively loud group of people who yelled through the entire night of music. I understand that this is part of performing, especially in a pub or bar setting. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t bother me. I understand that this group of friends came to the pub to let loose on a Friday night with their friends, not to listen to live music. Still, it seems that the volume with which they chose to let loose with was violently high. It was almost comical how loud they were.

So for all you musicians and audience members who have been annoyed by loud “audience” members, just know that you are not alone. As a professional I just played through their racket and had a grand old time. The show must go on.

I often get ideas for things to blog about when I am out for a walk, watching a movie, about to fall asleep, etc. In other words, when I cannot actually post my ideas to share with you. I’m sure many of you have experienced similar situations where inspirational, creative and brilliant ideas come to you when you least expect them and when they are most difficult to capture. There is definitely a reason for this. I think it’s because  our minds at these times are free of the pressure to do or think. They are not in task mode, and so little gems just land in our line of sight. We reach out for them but whoosh! we’ve already passed them and we can hardly remember what they looked like.

Please share your thoughts on inspiration and timing as comments to this post. Here are a few inspiring pictures of nature that my friend took in Whitehorse, Yukon.

I am currently in a funk. I feel annoyed, irritated and disappointed. It’s raining buckets, windy as hell, and I want to sleep 12+ hours a night and eat donuts and chips and watch movies. Yeah. In a funk.

There are things that could help me feel better, but I don’t want to do those things. Did I mention my motivation is low?

One thing that has helped me during past funks is to eat a good home cooked meal. I would start by going to the store to buy the good groceries.  You know the ones that you don’t buy because they’re too expensive? Yeah, those ones. I could come home and turn on some music and make myself a healthy, tasty, satisfying meal. But that would require some effort and some energy, whereas the chips on top of the fridge go nicely with the chocolate bar in the cupboard. Here’s some food I’ve made in the past when I was more motivated:

Something else that helps me when I’m feeling blue is to focus more energy on my spiritual life. Taking more time for prayer and meditation helps to ground me and to clear my mind of scattered and negative thoughts. But the lure of a good movie and the addiction of facebook are strong.

If I was so inclined to feel better (which I’m not) I might surf the net for inspiring and beautiful pictures like these ones of Bahia, Brazil I found on Flickr:

And if there was a cute animal nearby I would play with it and cuddle it. The cuteoverload website would have to suffice as I don’t have a pet:

And of course, if I did want to feel better (which I don’t), then I might do some dancing in the living room. This song and clip from the movie 500 Days of Summer is so upbeat and catchy:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2seAJsrtIbQ]

I guess I could go try any one of these things. I mean, eventually the novelty of being in a funk and feeling sorry for myself will wear off, and I will eventually want to feel better. For now, I’m going to take a big bite out of my apple fritter, surf facebook, and then go to sleep.

I’d love to hear your comments on how you get over a bad mood.

Yours truly,

Bahiyyih