This is just a quick note to say Happy New Year/Spring/Vernal Equinox to all. This past year has been, in one word, intense. Lots of personal growth and learning and tests and trials. I am grateful, and I am also hoping for a little more stability this coming year, at least in terms of moving (or not moving so much!) Here’s also hoping for some of my creative energy to become something I can share with all of you in the form of music. Until then, I will keep dancing in my living room and singing to my daughter.
For all the tape mixes, cd mixes, and playlists I have made or been given, there are always a few songs that I wish were not there, and a few songs that I listen to over and over again. Here’s one song I can’t seem to get enough of. It is part of my Sanity Mix playlist.
Since becoming a mother I can get quite frustrated with all the things I can’t do, now that I am mostly occupied with parenthood. I thought it might be helpful to consider all the things I can do. So here’s a list:
Spend precious time with my little girl who, as everyone tells me, will grow up so quickly
Go for long walks
Stay in my pjs all day
Justify eating donuts and other yummy comfort foods
Hang out with other moms and their babies
Care less about how I look because frankly I don’t have the energy
Work on developing qualities like patience, perseverance, contentment, acceptance and patience
Develop patience
Laugh with my daughter
See my husband and daughter playing together as my heart melts
Have a great excuse for being late
Simplify my life by doing one thing at a time
Since having a baby, I have found pancakes irresistible. I am down to having them every couple of weeks now, but right after the birth it was twice a week or more. The combo of carbs with maple syrup when I was (and am still!) breast feeding and sleep deprived is perfectly combined in these heavenly cakes.
I was off wheat and dairy for a while so I have experimented with a few different wheat and dairy alternatives. I always come back to the main recipe that my friend gave me. It is simple and pretty much fool proof. I often make a double recipe, sharing with friends and storing the rest in the fridge. They make great leftovers.
The zen part for me is the making of the pancakes. Putting together the ingredients and then getting them into the pan, waiting for the tiny bubbles on top, flipping them over and then almost right away transferring them into the hot plate in the oven. It keeps me focused and I know the end result will be delicious. It is a simple pleasure and one that I am grateful for. I like to put on some music and make an event of it. I like them with butter and maple syrup.
I have fond childhood memories of the children’s song I’m a Little Teapot. I remember singing it in my preschool class and particularly enjoying the actions that go with the song. I loved the end and would fall to the ground to the words “pour me out!” if you don’t know this song watch the video here as performed by my friend Pamela Sunshine.
I’ve been singing this song to my daughter, Nova. She seems to like it, even when I replace the lyrics. I enjoy improvising my own lyrics to existing songs. The results are far from stellar (as my friends and family will know), but I have fun with it. I was singing this song to her yesterday and substituted new lyrics for the “incident” we had a few months ago involving poop.
You hear about this sort of thing before you become a parent, but you can’t really imagine it until it happens. The ability for babies to poop is amazing. The quantity of it and the distance it can travel will blow your mind (if you haven’t experienced this already).
Anyways, after cleaning it up and Nova having a very long sleep (you would too), I sang her something like this:
I’m a little Nova, cute and sweet,
I pooped on my arms and pooped on my seat,
I pooped down my legs and all over the chair,
I pooped everywhere, I pooped everywhere!
I warned you, not stellar. Anyways, it helped me process the situation, and maybe her too. So next time you have a situation in life (perhaps slightly stressful), just take a song you already know and change the lyrics to make them about the experience you had. It will be a fun and I think a therapeutic way to process it too.
This will be my first post since giving birth to my daughter, Nova, in late August. I have composed many posts in my head in the late night/early morning hours of feeding/calming a new baby, or just when my brain could not quiet down. Of course in the morning all those (seemingly) brilliant ideas are gone. I don’t want to keep putting this off so here it is, my uninspired, unfocused, writing as I go entry.
I guess that is really a reflection of new parenthood. I mean, having a 24/7 job with rare moments to oneself. Don’t get me wrong, it is WONDERFUL. I mean, I love this little girl so much, and I feel myself growing and learning so much each day. I am also feeling a lot more creative and getting in a lot of singing (to my audience of one). She is a very loving audience, though sometimes zones out.
I have written three new pieces since being pregnant and hope to share live versions by video with our new video camera. Until then, here’s what is keeping me busy:
There should be no such thing as a due date when it comes to pregnancy. I am instituting the Arrival Period. Why you ask? Let me explain.
Even though I know that babies are rarely due on their due dates, and that due dates are often inaccurate, and that babies are ready to arrive anywhere between 37-42 weeks, there is still this underlying anticipation I feel as my due date approaches. The other problem is that everyone asks when my due date is, a natural question, but one that just reinforces this anticipation which I am trying to ignore.
My wise midwife advised that I could try expecting my baby to arrive on the last possible date of my Arrival Period, and that way I can enjoy life until then rather than waiting on pins and needles. So that’s what I’m doing (or trying very hard to do). I’ve been going out for long walks and getting out into the trees and by the water. Here are some photos of me at Pacific Spirit Park. This time in nature is also bringing me a feeling of calm and joy, and awakening creative ideas.
I have a taste of what it means to “do what you love” in life. There are a lot of books and self-help guides and schools of thought around the importance of doing what we love in life. There is the idea that if we follow our passion, our true calling, everything will work out. Money is often a concern in this equation, as a lot of “dream” jobs are not guaranteed money makers.
At my recent cd release party, I felt the elation and contentment of singing my songs and sharing them with others. Doing this, however, does not come easily or without significant work. Many hours and months and even years were put into the creation of the cd as well as the concert itself. To put in that much effort for something that does not mean much to you would just not happen. The only reason I put in so much effort, despite the lower financial output, is because I love doing it. It is not always easy, and not always exciting, but for the thrill of moments like I had during the concert, it is always worth it. It is not logical, it is intuitive. When you find something you love, you will do it no matter what is costs (or doesn’t pay) and despite challenges and struggles. The truth is, why would I work towards something and put a lot of effort into something I am not passionate about and do not believe in? I just won’t and don’t. So what I do love and put effort into, music, ends up being the most rewarding thing in my life BECAUSE I put that effort in. When we put so much effort into something we love, it is so unbelievably rewarding.
And now, as I embark on a new calling, that of parenthood and motherhood, I will try to remember this. For I know bringing a child into the world and raising it is a HUGE job, much bigger than releasing a cd. So I think perhaps it will also be that much more rewarding. This is what I tell myself when I feel afraid and have self-doubt about doing such an important job. It will be interesting to see what kind of music and other creative expressions come out of this amazing, challenging, and life-changing experience. Stay tuned!
There have been so many countdowns in my life lately. For a long time it was the unknown date of when my album would be finished. Then once it was finished and the cd release date was set, it was counting down to the big event and all the prep involved in putting on a live concert. After that, my husband and I were counting down until our moving day of June 1. And now I am counting down to the day that our child will be born.
I am now 33 weeks pregnant and as you know, due dates are not exact. She could come anytime now, but I’m guessing/hoping it will be mid to late August. I have four more weeks of work and then hopefully some time to do more baby and personal preparation.
I also bought myself a new guitar. It is a Martin OM-1E. It is electric/acoustic, spruce, light-weight, and has a beautiful rich sound. I will be performing with it for the first time tomorrow at my regular coffee shop gig. I have been counting down to get this new guitar for over a year now.
Everything comes in good time. I can see that now, as so many of my goals and dreams and wishes have come to me this year.
What a night! My cd release concert was an amazing experience for me. It was one of those experiences where I felt very present and really enjoyed each moment. As a performer it was the ideal type of show. Lots of time to set up and sound check, great sound system and sound person, great musicians, songs well prepared, room full of supportive family and friends. It just doesn’t get much better than that.
I feel so happy to have worked hard on this album for over 2 years and then to be able to share it in a magical evening and for people to take it home with them to enjoy and share with others. I am also so grateful to the many people who have helped me with this and my entire music career. Here are a few photos from the night taken by Tobin J.W. Smith.
Photo by Tobin J.W. Smith: www.photobinphotography.com
Photo by Tobin J.W. Smith: www.photobinphotography.com
Photo by Tobin J.W. Smith: www.photobinphotography.com
Photo by Tobin J.W. Smith: www.photobinphotography.com
Photo by Tobin J.W. Smith: www.photobinphotography.com
Photo by Tobin J.W. Smith: www.photobinphotography.com
Photo by Tobin J.W. Smith: www.photobinphotography.com
Photo by Tobin J.W. Smith: www.photobinphotography.com
